my father hades!
by bloody dark heart
Summary: what happens when a perverted and out of character god of the underworld goes to visit his 17 years old daughter at the camp half blood, and he just happens to enter her room at the wrong time!  my first fanfic people..review if you like.  rated M languag


**_Hades My Father_**

"took you this long to come and see me…. Eh.. father", I said my voice cold and hard, not to forget the sarcasm.

And there he stood in all his glory, a dangerous black aura surrounding him, as he BLUSHED!

Yes, listen well people, he FUCKING BLUSHED!

Let me introduce myself first, I am Nonu, a demigod, and Hades is my father. I am 17 years, and live in camp half blood, alone in my cabin. Brother Nico is apparently off to a quest now, he is some 10 years elder to me.

Now you must be thiking what has this 'jerk' done apart for not claiming me for a whole damn month while I was at camp half blood, going nuts trying to figure who my godly parent is. Then suddenly mr-god –of- the underworld remembers that he still has a daughter that is left to be claimed, and that to when I was off to a mission and nearly lost my life!

"I said I was sorry, I have like apologized to like 100 times already, do you have to be like this with a stick shoved up your ass?" feeling perhaps miserable or embarrassed? Who knows?

"and where do you think I got that from?" I snorted. I am really angry with him, not because he forgot to claim me for all this while, but because…..

**XFLASHBACK**

The floor of my cabin suddenly burst open and cracked, and there stood Hades, the god of the underworld and my father, in al his glory, and looking sexy as ever. Now don't get me wrong, but he is sexy, and I love him like a daughter would love her father.

So instead of greeting him with a smile when he appeared, I shouted, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOIING HERE! GET OUT! JUST FREAKING GET OUT!"

I know its not a nice way but…. I had just returned form a warm bath, and was about to wear my clothes, when my oh-so-wrong-timing-father decided to suddenly poof in my room.

I had every right to be angry right?

XFLASHBACKX

I just got up from my sitting position and started to brush my long light brown hair, that almost reached my waist, standing in front of a full length mirror that I got fixed in one of the walls.

I saw his eyes soften as he continued to look at me, "you got your mothers` hair." he whispered softly.

I sighed, it was difficult to be angry at him when he is all but lost in past memories and has that puppy dog face on.

"I know father, apparently, I u haven't noticed, which I am sure u haven't, I got her brown eyes too!" I snapped back, he got to work his butt real hard if he wants to get past this one.

He just sighed and held out a black box to me, "here".

"I took the box and opened it only to find a beautiful anklet, studded with black stones. I picked it up and marveled at it, "I know you don't wear all this stuff, but it can be help full. When you wear this, you can summon spirits and zombies to fight for you without draining much of your power."

"well thanks dad." I said softly.

"so, anything new" he asked , as he made himself comfortable on my bunk.

"except for you poofing in my room, and practically seeing me naked, nopes"

"ya, ok, I said I was sorry. And its Friday night no plans?" he questioned.

"what are you trying to say?" I questioned back suspiciously.

"I am asking if you have a boyfriend?" he asked causally.

"are we seriously discussing my love life?" I asked, disbelief clear in my voice.

"yes of course we are!" he exclaimed. Rather happy I guess.

"um, nopes, no plans." I said being a honest good girl.

"oh come one, you are my daughter! No plans for Friday night! Let's go find someone for you then." He said as he started to drag me out.

Ok, is this seriously happening?  
>my father-i.e. god of the underworld- wants me to find a boyfriend! *faints*<p>

Has he been spending too much time with Aphrodite these days?

"you are my father! Aren't you suppose to all protective and i-will-kill-any-one-who-dare-come-near-my daughter!"

"but how can I be protective, unless you go out with someone? I am trying to be a responsible parent here."

"if you seriously want to protect me, go talk some sense into that wife of yours-the freaky goddess of flower- her flowers almost bit my head off the last time I was there! No wonder all the flowers in the world hate me!" I snapped.

"next time I will provide you with a shield ok?" he said as he continued to drag me out.

"lord Hades," greeted one of the Apollo kids, as he bowed in respect.

'help me' I mouthed, but he was all but helpless in front of my dickhead father.

"dickhead father" he questioned as he raised an eyebrow at me.

'damn!' I cursed, 'I need to stop speaking my thoughts out loud' I thought.

"yes you do," he agreed.

* * *

><p>"I am going to throw you in the deepest pits of hell father!" I exclaimed, as I stood in front of the building horrified. Was this really happening?<p>

"you cant do that, I am the god of the underworld remember," acting all cool and mighty, what an ass!

WHAT THE HELL IS HE THINKING! WHO THE HELL BRINGS THEIR DAUGHTER TO A STRIP SHOW!

Yes, listen well people- A STRIP SHOW!

"kill me father! Kill me. I beg you, kill me" I pleaded, wishing for it to come true.

But he just ruffled my hair lightly and said, "they how am I suppose to help you my socially retarded daughter."

Who the hell was he calling a social retard! I just stood there, glaring at him.

"fine ,fine," he said, finally noticing my glare, and then "sometime I wish you were nevr born my daughter."

"I would not been born if you would have just kept your dick in your pants and your hands to your self!" I snapped back.

I just heard him laugh, and I shot up in my bed, my breathing labored, and my forehead covered in sweat. 'oh thank the field of punishment it was a dream,' I thought, then I noticed a box glowing in a dull silver light, floating around in my room. I got u and took hold of it, at my touch the silver glow disappeared. I opened the box to find the best thing I could have asked for. It was a beautiful black sword, with my name engraved on it hilt. Along with it was a note:

**_Daughter;  
>I hope you enjoyed the day<em>**, **_and I must say, you got a sexy body, a pretty arousing one; not that it matters to me._**

**_And I hope you like your present: HAPPY BIRTHDAY_**

**_Hades._**

now isn`t my perverted father great! He got me a new sword and an anklet. Now I got to kick some real ass and make him proud!


End file.
